THE MED SCHOOL NERD SCALE 

The following scale has been developed in close cooperation with the UVA psychiatry services (Well at least I was thinking of some of their characteristics and used some of their class  time to compose it). It is designed to test if you have spent  too much time in medical school and whether you are having adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure. Score one point for each statement that applies to you. 

1 You have ever said "Netter is god". 
2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal 
3 You own a 4 color pen 
4 -it just isn't enough colors for you 
5 You use more than one color to take notes 
6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months 
7 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote 
8 you retype handouts given in class 
9 you haven't had a date in 3 months 
10 you haven't had a date since entering med school 
11 you have not been able to remember the normal term for  something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie >> reflux for heartburn) 
12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home 
13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus 
14 - you also know what it means 
15 You have ever asked a question in class 
16 - The prof. didn't understand the question 
17 - you didn't believe the answer the prof. gave 
18 - you went to look it up to see if they were right 
19 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med school 
20 You skip class to study 
21 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean 
22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail 
23 You have a callous on you finger from writing 
24 More than one professor knows you by name 
25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've  heard of you" 
26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents 
27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking 
28 you actually know what PERRLA stands for 
29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle 
30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association 
31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm 
32 You know the strucures in the urea cycle 
33 You know the dermatome distribution 
34 You can't remember what you had for breakfast 
35 You can't spell world, much less backwards 
36 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray 
37 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Artheritis 
38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na 
39 -K 
40 Missing class causes you extreme stress 
41 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you  feel?" 
42 You have asked will this be on the exam 
43 -Just after the prof. said it wouldn't 
44 You identify with Deb on E.R. 
45 You have made a medical joke 
46 -no one laughed 
47 -You figure they just weren't that far in their studying 
48 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus 
49 - you don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears 
50 "SOB" means short of breath to you 
51 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease  you have studied 
52 -within 3 days of the lecture 
53 You have answered a question in class 
54 -asked by the professor 
55 -it was a rhetorical question 
56 You can quote lines from the movie "Malice" 
57 -you believe them >> 58 You can flip your pen over your thumb 
59 - with both hands >> 60 - you do so throughout class 
61 You have corrected a professor in class 
62 -the rest of the class didn't understand the lecture to begin with 
63 You know how to claculate specificity 
64 -positive predictive value 
65 - anion gap 
66 -you can't balance your checkbook 
67 You don't know what the weather was like for the past week 
68 You don't know what the weather is like right now 
69 You actually talk in open ended questions 
70 DIC isn't a slang term for the penis in your book 
71 You think B- is a bad grade 
72 you have stressed about a pass/fail class 
73 You study during most of your meals 
74 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive  Disorder 
75 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the  handouts 
76 -including the cartoons (humourous type) 
77 Anatomy makes you hungry 
78 You would even consider saying "Ease back on my finger at  your own pace" 
79 You know the size of a RBC 
80 - you don't know the size of a football field 
81 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year 
82 You have the library hours memorized 
83 You have your own seat in the library 
84 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final 
85 You own more than one white coat 
86 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study 
87 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in  advance 
88 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean 
89 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients 
90 You wear scrubs to tests 
91 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation 
92 - you actually did 
93 You have a designated seat in lecture 
94 - You have ever asked someone to move from "your seat" 
95 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night 
96 -you think that is plenty 
97 -you have thought about cutting back 
98 You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class 
99 -you think you are a slackard 
100 You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions 

 

Scale:

20 - You're not in Med school. Go back to your party and  leave us alone. We have work to do. 

20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of "Senor doctor" 

35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care 

45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that you mention it...

60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money 

75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked? 

90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master.