Math 101

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 

Smart man + smart woman = romance 

Smart man + dumb woman = affair 

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC 

Smart boss + smart employee = profit 

Smart boss + dumb employee = production 

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion 

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 

SHOPPING MATH 

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. 

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. 

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 

Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 

A woman has the last word in any argument. 

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage.